From the River to the Dam and Back Again
by Satirically Senseless
Summary: A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretence, and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself, and only herself.
1. Prologue

**From the River to the Dam and Back Again **

**A Naruto Fanfic**

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**Prologue **

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_"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. _

_She goes where she will without pretence _

_And arrives at her destination prepared to be herself, _

_And only herself." _

Though now she was a dam, stopped and stuck by a firm hand to build up and break with a few snaps of sturdy wood, it would not be so forever.

With her mantra as her amenity, her heart not quite yet crushed and the green blaze of her defiant eyes not quite yet stifled, she would not let her ruined form of skin on bone, of blood and bruises make this be forever.

Though now she was a dam, she would one day flow like the river again.

And if she had to be his wife for a hundred years before that point she would do so. She'd wait a hundred years, but it wouldn't be forever.

Sakura Uchiha would become the river again.


	2. Part 1: The Rift, Chapter 1

**From the River to the Dam and Back Again**

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**Part 1: The Rift**

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**Chapter 1**

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At this very moment, with the cicadas starting their evening chorus and the sun retreating over the dull green of the valley, blasting the sky with a sizzling evening hue, it had been exactly eighteen years since Sakura was born in her busy little house to her busy little parents. And it had also been exactly twelve months since their embarrassing defeat at the hands of an infamous gang of rogues with bloody clouds on their flanks and savage slices through both their headbands and their allegiances.

Madara and his forces had won the war on her last birthday.

'_The perfect gift'_, she had thought bitterly, as she and the other remaining fraction of the Shinobi Alliance retreated to their villages, to come up with a frantic plan to claw their way out of the bitter slump of the end. That plan pretty much turned into every man for himself. How fitting for a village powered by ninja. Though she couldn't speak for other hidden villages since they'd had no contact what so ever, not even the weekly red hawk from their close allies in Suna, Sakura could safely say that her hometown of Konoha treated the situation with the up most stupidity and cowardice.

With Lady Tsunade, the former Hokage of Konoha and her beloved mentor tragically killed on the battlefield, along with countless others, the remaining leaders and elders were at loss at what the hell they should do. But with unyielding disgust Sakura will always remember how they ran for the hills with their tails between their legs, instead of facing the problem head on like her Lady would have done, leaving criminals and rogues alike to plunder and wreck their village and its decimated population with unbearable ease.

"Happy birthday." Naruto said with quiet cheer, prodding his slowly baking trout with a twig, watching the flames and cinders flare and lick up the knackered pile of wood, not meeting Sakura's eyes.

"Thank you." She replied, equally quiet, but without the forced cheer. Sakura flipped over her fish for the fifth time, clenching and unclenching her sore toes in the soil, trying to vent her anger and frustration through some fast movement. They had been travelling none stop for two days now and had finally set up camp on the edge of a dense forest near the border between the Land of Fire and and a land totally unknown, Sakura finally relenting to Naruto's non-stop moaning.

_She was still so damn tense, though! _She wanted to get moving, they hadn't even made it out of the Fire Country yet.

Everything that had happened was still roving around in her head, the tragedy and misfortune flipping her stomach, and the guilt, oh the guilt. Naruto presumably felt the same way, but he was much better at putting on a face than she was. It was a shame really, even after everything the two friends still had each other, despite Naruto being the most likely to die during the war and just barely making it out alive, and yet they could barely say a word to each other. The most they talked about now was their new cause, their new mission. Growing closer as the teammates they could talk for hours, they wore their emotions on their sleeves and would learn to speak with earnest and honesty; they were really the closest of mates. But now they just occasionally shared the faint glimmer of hope and determination, well when Sakura wasn't nagging him to get a move on or how to set up camp properly.

"So," Naruto felt it time to break the silence as he pushed a few strands of dirty blonde from his eyes as he began to remove the trout from the fire,

"Supposedly from our intel Madara has based his new headquarters-"

"Oh fucking hell, Naruto! That fish will give you salmonella, let it cook for a bit more."

"Lemme just recap!"

"We continue heading North to Mountain's Graveyard," Sakura retaliated with grave seriousness, Naruto lazily sticking out his tongue,

"We look around, we find Madara, we fight Madara. We kill him. And if we can't find him, we go kill the guy who told us he'd be there. Then we try, try and try again. There you go, now put down that trout."

Naruto groaned, too tired for a snappy retort as he clamped his mouth over the barely lukewarm fish. A small hand snatched his wrist with a vice-like grip, muscles flexing dangerously, and Naruto met Sakura's greenest of glowers with his own determined glare.

"Put. Down. The trout." Sakura bit out angrily.

"Never!" Naruto's fearsome claim was muffled by a mouthful of the fish he kept defiantly half-way shoved into his gob. As he spoke he spat fish onto Sakura's cheek, and she yanked herself back, cursing and grimacing.

"I swear to God, Naruto," She warned, moving sulkily into a comfortable position on the dense forest floor,

"If you make yourself ill on this mission I will kill you."

"What if I die anyway?" Naruto smirked, snarky voice still distorted by a face full of food.

"Well it's your funeral either way."

"Shame, because I like my animals _raw!" _Naruto grinned dramatically, and Sakura rolled her eyes and made a gagging motion, inwardly relishing the fun moment. She glanced down at her fish, which was starting to blacken around the edges. She did _not_ like her animals raw.

Sakura flipped the fish around with her makeshift spatula (a gnarled old stick Naruto promised he'd cleaned), swatting her arm as a mosquito landed on the sunburnt skin. The sudden urge to strike up a conversation with her teammate struck her as she peeped up at his crossed legged form, munching happily on his trout.

"You know, I think this is the first birthday I've eaten fish, Dad would always cook me meat for dinner." Sakura pondered, poking her trout absentmindedly. Naruto abruptly jumped up with a large yelp, his mouth popping into a large 'o'. Sakura cocked a neatly trimmed eyebrow at him as he began routing with frantic excitement through has travel pack.

"What's wrong? Another millipede? You know it's pretty hilarious how a guy who used to hang out with amphibians completely spazzes every time he sees a creepy crawly!" Sakura guffawed unceremoniously, she was far too funny for her own good. Naruto gave her a sarcastic 'ha ha' as he stood up straight, brandishing a little brown box, which he then practically threw at Sakura.

"Happy birthday!" He exclaimed happily as Sakura held the box in her gloved hands, gawking at it with sudden surprise.

"My God! A present? Thanks so much, man!"

"Yup," Naruto puffed out his chest proudly,

"Remember how I managed to convince you to let me have a fifteen minute break this morning, as I had 'business' to take care of?"

"And I automatically assumed you were constipated and nearly force-feed you detox tea leaves?" Sakura laughed, clutching the adorable, tatty little box like a life line. Naruto's olive skin went a little red.

"Uh yeah, after all that, when you actually let me leave."

"Mhm?"

"I secretly sent a clone to a nearby town a few miles from us, think it was called Entson or something. Anyway I'd actually done my research and discovered that the town was pretty famous for it's arts and craft industry, particularly in manufacturing jewellery. And it was pretty low-key so shops weren't closing down because of criminal activity."

Sakura sat ever so still, processing Naruto's words as they bounced and flowed and followed quickly after one another.

"And, well, I bought the nicest thing I could, under 5 ryo. So happy birthday!"

Sakura didn't know what to say. She stared into Naruto's earnest eyes; emerald into cerulean. A gentle smile twitched up her thin red lips as she sprung up and wrapped her arms around him. Naruto was taken aback to the say the least, but soon returned the hug, encasing the tiny kunoichi in his big warm arms.

"I truly am touched, Naruto." She spoke quietly, slowly, wanting to stand like that forever. Even after everything, even when she dreaded that they were drifting a part, he was still thinking of her, still prepared to go out of his way to make her happy. Naruto hugged her a little tighter against his chest, so Sakura could feel and hear both the subtle hum of his immense chakra and nervous thumping of his heart.

After another lovely moment or two Naruto pulled back gently, keeping a hold of Sakura's rock solid shoulders, not wanting to let go of her sturdy, delicate little frame.

"Open it," He insisted, his expression unreadable. He did look a bit nervous, though.

Sakura obliged and glided thin fingers over the box, and as she opened it, Naruto watching her reaction intently, she gave a grin that could rival even the man's in front of her.

Naruto mirrored Sakura's smile and dipped his thick fingers into the box, removing the slim silver hair slide, imbedded with a small sapphire sphere at it's tip, as gently as he possibly could. Sakura got where he was going and hurriedly removed the tatty bandana she was using to keep her bangs back, willingly letting an excited titter escape. She guided his clumsy fingers through her pale coral coloured hair, and within five minutes of shits and giggles Sakura had a neat plait across the top of her head, the rest of her thin down-bearded hair tousled freely around her round, happy face.

She was greasy, dirty, sunburnt and tired from their long journey. But hell, Naruto thought she looked fucking beautiful, as ever. It was like he was a squeaky twelve-year-old again, always gazing after her. Always wondering if she dyed her hair that ridiculous colour or if she was some sort of fairy. Or if she was naturally so small and petite or if she was just some sort of doll. Or if she like roses over lilies, or chocolates over candy. He'd wonder all sorts about her, she was enchanting.

Well, from a far. Of course when they were shoved into a team together he realised the little fairy was foul-mouthed, foul-tempered, selfish and lazy. But then he realised she could be funny, and sensitive, and witty and actually kinda decent. He saw her passion grow as she grew, her scrawny, silly, weak form morphing into a monstrous warrior with steel back bone and the heart of gold. As they grew closer his fierce will was instilled into her, and she was instilled into him, too. She taught him not be so reliant and naïve, to think for himself and be decisive for a change.

That's when he knew it wasn't a shallow fad, that's when he realised with the upmost relief he could truly love her with all his heart. She balanced him out. And vice versa, though whether or not she loved him as much as he adored her was a mystery. He was well aware of her obsession which stemmed into love for their former teammate and close friend Sasuke Uchiha, though they hadn't spoken about him at all since they fought briefly alongside him, nearing the end of the war. So really where her heart strings were pulling her now was unknown, though she did seem furious with the infamous Avenger after he disappeared inexplicably when they had to surrender.

But everyone was angry, everyone was tearful. The thousands lost, and the trauma that would stay on with the survivors for decades was all in vain. Pointless. The bad guys had won, the end.

"Sakura?" Naruto asked the warm body tucked into his sleeping bag next to him, enshrouded in the humid darkness of midnight. He has made some half-assed excuse about sharing a sleeping bag to keep warm when they finally decided to stop yacking and sleep. But Sakura didn't argue for once, she merely grinned cheekily as she wiped a few remnants of mangled trout from her lips.

"What is it Naruto?" She replied irritably, she was just drifting off and that's when the idiot decides to speak!

"If we find Madara tomorrow, if we end up engaged in a battle, we might not..." He drifted off uncertainly, but Sakura was on exactly the same page. She turned around swiftly in the bag so she was facing him, and Naruto could feel her penetrating glare burning a hole into his skull.

"Naruto, there's no going back now. We made a promise to each other, remember? Madara's still out there, he's up to something, we have to bring him down."

"It's not that, it's just... Have you ever thought about being selfish for once? I mean after all we've been through we deserve it."

Naruto was met with silence. He quickly elaborated,

"What I mean is- we could just run away-"

"Naruto-"

"Please listen to me, Sakura!" Naruto whispered with harsh worry and desperation, shifting closer to Sakura, so she could feel his hot breath fanning across her face.

"All our lives we've been facing things head on, we've always thought of others! We vowed we'd help Sasuke, we'd take down the Akatsuki, we'd take down Orochimaru- we'd become as strong as we could to help others! And we've lost everything and everyone doing so!"

"Naruto, you're shouting!" Sakura hushed him sharply, her mind racing and her hands tensing. Naruto leaned his forehead on hers, fumbling his fingers through the pitch black night to touch her face.

"So... Now that we have the chance, why don't we be selfish? Why don't we run away together? Forget it all."

"..."

"Please be selfish with me, Sakura."

There was a very long pause. Too long, Naruto was about to shake her in a frantic plea for an answer, but she spoke up, her voice low, with strange gravitas, and ever so stern. It was as if just there lying next to him she'd aged a thousand years.

"I have been selfish all my life, Naruto. And I have barely begun to face things head on. I can't stop now, not when my Lady is dead." She hissed, making Naruto flinch,

"Could you imagine Tsunade looking down at the skinny, useless little girl she'd invested so much time and hard work into to transform her into a true ninja, and seeing her give up just as she was finally getting good?"

Sakura instinctively pointed to the teal rhombus mark that stood proudly on her noble brow, even though she knew Naruto couldn't really see her.

"Listen to yourself, Naruto! I hate to be blunt but I don't know how else to put it: could you also imagine your proud parents up there with her, staring down at their son, one of the greatest Shinobi of all time, and watching him just giving up?"

Naruto prickled up at the mention of his parents, but had to tell his inner rage that she was right.

"I can't be selfish anymore, Naruto. Please."

"... So we really have to do this, then?" Sakura hesitated at Naruto's unusually quiet murmur. He ran a finger along her cheek and admitted for the umpteenth time in his life,

"You know I really care for you, right, Sakura?"

"Yes, I always have."

"And as annoying as you can be, I want to always be by your side in one way or another, right? I want to protect you forever."

"I don't need protect-"

"I know!" Naruto groaned at her pinickity nature, trying to keep the conversation serious.

"I just want you to be safe, and I'm worried that this rushed quest you're fixated on completing will lead us to the same fate of all our friends. Madara's... He's like a God, you know that as much as me."

Sadness, regret and fear blemished Naruto's rugged features, and a long silence stretched out like the endless road they had been walking together. He could heat the thoughts whirring around Sakura's head, mulling at her options. But it wasn't until what felt like an eternity, when Sakura's voice piped up and chimed through the night,

"Well then! If that's the case, I'll just have to become a Goddess!"

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Earlier that night, unbeknownst to the slumbering duo in their cosy state of mixed sleep and adrenaline, a forced death had occurred.

And a pair of eyes, redder than the blood that stained the white marble of the scene, still glared at the corpse to the early hours of the morning.

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CHAPTER END

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Thanks if you read that the whole way through! Took me a long time to write.

Yes I've gone for narusaku, sorry haters. Again it's not something I intently ship but it would be if KISHIMOTO GOT HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS ARSE!

Anyway I'd just like to say my blurb up there that likens a woman to a river isn't my own writing, I don't want to commit plagiarism here, so I'll just say it's the wise words of Maya Angelou, please google her, she's very talented.

Anyway I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible, please post a review if you can, they're very encouraging. As much as people say that they're damn right.

Bye!

SS


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